Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Open Letter to a Jerk

To the driver of a certain rental car that was parked downtown, in direct sunlight, at around noon today:

I’m sure that when you came back to your car from wherever you had been, you were surprised to find that your dog was no longer in the back seat. Well, smarty, that was because of me. I am the one who called the police, who in turn called Veterinary Services, who called me back within minutes and sent someone to rescue the dog as I watched. (I have to admit, though: it was a good thing that you left the windows open. Not because it kept your car any cooler—even with the windows open, a car parked in direct sunlight can become lethally overheated very quickly, killing any living creature inside within minutes, and your car was getting pretty hot—but because it helped get the dog out of there that much faster.)

Since you have the wherewithal to rent a car, I have to assume that you have enough intelligence to own and maintain a credit card. It’s really too bad that this intelligence is evidently not transferable to other areas of your life. And while I am sorry that your dog ended up in the municipal shelter, I still think that he has a better chance of survival there than with you. You see, sir or madam, your astonishing display of near-lethal stupidity—or apathy, or cruelty, whatever it was—in leaving your dog in a parked car, at noon, under a Middle Eastern sun in the middle of July, has me convinced that you are not fit to care for a colony of E. coli bacteria, let alone a dog.

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